Trust the Red Flags
A Message to You, My Love
I hope I'm here when you fall in love.
I hope I'm here when your heart gets broken. When you meet someone who feels like forever. When you get married. When marriage gets hard. When you must decide whether to stay, fight, forgive or walk away.
But if I'm not there for those moments, I want you to have this.
Be careful who you give your heart to
Don't choose someone simply because they love you. Choose someone who respects you. Someone whose words match their actions. Someone who can admit when they're wrong. Someone who makes you feel safe enough to be completely yourself.
Pay attention to how they treat people when they have nothing to gain.
Pay attention to how they treat you when they're angry.
And please, never call it love when you're constantly afraid, walking on eggshells, losing yourself, or begging for the bare minimum.
Love should not cost you your peace
Don't confuse chemistry with compatibility. Butterflies are wonderful, but they won't carry you through a mortgage, a sick parent, a lost job, a child who needs you, or a season when neither of you feels like yourselves.
Choose someone you can build with.
Someone who will sit beside you in the dark not just dance with you in the light.
And if someone breaks your heart, let it hurt.
Don't let heartbreak convince you that you weren't enough. Sometimes you can love someone deeply and still know they aren't meant to go where you're going.
Never lose yourself trying to keep someone
Keep your friends. Keep your dreams. Keep your voice. Keep becoming the person you were meant to be.
And if you get married, remember that you're not trying to win against each other. You're trying to build a life together.
Life will change you both. So, keep choosing each other. Keep talking. Keep laughing. Keep dating. Learn how to apologize. Learn how to forgive. Learn how to repair what you've broken.
And if your marriage ends, remember this:
The end of a marriage is not the end of you
You are allowed to begin again.
You are allowed to choose peace.
You are allowed to leave a life that is hurting you.
You are allowed to love again.
One day, I hope you understand that the greatest love isn't necessarily the loudest one.
It's the one that feels safe.
The one that keeps its promises.
The one that celebrates your growth instead of fearing it.
The one that lets you be fully yourself.
The one that can sit quietly beside you on an ordinary Tuesday and still feel like home.
So don't settle because you're lonely.
Don't stay because you're afraid.
Don't ignore what your heart and your instincts are trying to tell you.
And don't be afraid to love deeply.
Just make sure that while you're loving someone else, you never stop loving yourself.
If you're reading this after I'm gone, I hope you can hear my voice.
I hope you know that I wanted more for you than simply finding someone who loved you.
I wanted you to find someone who loved you well.
And if you ever wonder whether you've chosen the right person, don't just ask, “Do they love me?”
Ask yourself:
“Can I be fully myself here?”
“Do I feel safe here?”
“Can we grow here?”
“Is this the kind of love I would want for my own child?”
If the answer is yes, hold onto it.
If it isn't, love yourself enough to let go.
You deserve a love that feels like home.
Love,
Your Biggest Cheerleader
And… When a Letter Isn’t Enough, Send a Video.
Some moments in your child’s life deserve more than words on a page. They deserve your voice. Your face. Your laugh. Your story.
At 16, they may experience their first real heartbreak. At 21, they may lose themselves in a relationship. At 32, they may say, “I do.” At 40, they may become a parent and finally understand you in ways they never could before.
What if you’re not there for those moments? Record something now.
Share the stories about your first love, your biggest heartbreak, what you learned about choosing a partner, the mistakes you made, the moments that changed you, and what it really means to love and be loved.
Then let MyEverheart deliver your message when they need it most.
We created the MyEverheart app to help you preserve more than memories. With thoughtful prompts, reminders, and milestone notifications, the app helps you create a personal milestone map for your children, so your stories, advice, and love can reach them at the moments they need you most.
“Because some things are too important to leave unsaid and some moments are too important to miss,” Michael Young, Founder of MyEverheart.
Category 1: Trusting You
Prompt 1: The Anger Test
● Push Notification: How should a partner act when they are angry? Record a quick message about the ultimate red flag. Remind them that respect should never disappear just because someone is upset, and tell them what behavior they should never tolerate.
Prompt 2: Trusting the "Gut Feeling"
● Push Notification: Have you ever ignored your intuition? Tell them why they shouldn't.
Category 2: Choosing "The One"
Prompt 3: The Ultimate Green Flag
● Push Notification: What is the most underrated trait in a partner? Romance is great, but life requires a teammate. What is a trait that doesn't seem exciting at first, but is absolutely crucial for a lifelong partnership?
Prompt 4: The "I Knew" Moment
● Push Notification: When did you know you found the right partner? Tell them the story.
Category 3: Building a Resilient Marriage
● Push Notification: Marriage is rarely 50/50. Tell them how to handle the imbalance.
Prompt 5: How to Fight Fair
● Push Notification: Disagreements are normal. How do you resolve them without breaking trust? Pass down your strategy for solving the problem instead of attacking the person.